- Well, I don't really care who knows anymore.
- I would like to bring about some MM awareness.
- Surviving cancer for a year is a good thing.
Now, I realize that something like this would really publicize my health situation. I may not be considering all of the potential implications here, so I ask you, dear readers - should I or shouldn't I? When did you decide to go public with the news, or if you don't have MM, when did your loved one go public (or did you/they)? You can either comment publicly to this post, or send me a private email. The link is on the right.
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5 comments:
Because the relative who has MM also has a thriving business, it was not beneficial to let news about the dx out into the public. However, over time the news has gradually come out and the business continues to progress.
My opinion, after some years in public relations, is that it all depends on how the news might affect you, your business endeavors, your family, and especially children. My greatest concern is that in today's climate, small children do not understand what is going on although they clearly get the message that things are not as they used to be. If you suspect that "big news" will be converted to gossip which will negatively affect them, then perhaps it is wise to wait. Gossip, like feathers out of a pillow, cannot be easily controlled.... and the message can be distorted.
That's a tough one. With my dad's diagnosis, it was hard for my folks to not come out publicly, since he was diagnosed in the late stages of multiple myeloma. Basically, between the hospital visits and the changes in his physical appearance, it was obvious that something was up. Although it made it easier for my mother to be able to lean on some for emotional support, I think that the hardest thing for my parents upon others' finding out was that 1) from that point on, it seemed to be the main conversation topic brought up by nearly anyone who approached her (i.e. even some who would have otherwise never previously offered up much other than a casual 'hello' were now asking her about my dad all the time, which was sometimes exhausting for her), and 2) there were some people in their lives who simply didn't know what to do with the information and who suddenly just walked out of their lives--cut off contact altogether, rather than have to deal with any awkwardness they may have felt having a friend with cancer. I'm not sure that the second point would really be a sound reason to refrain from going public with your diagnosis, but the first one is something you'll need to consider for yourself, as well as for your loved ones who will find themselves perpetually approached and asked for updates.
Thanks to you both. First, I want to be clear that I am not seeking attention or coddling. Part of me does want to bring awareness to MM, and I also want to celebrate living a years with MM, whether I "go public" or not. So far friends and co-workers approach me with the occasional "how are you feeling" comments, to which I respond "just fine". However, when my MM develops and I need to start treatment, my changing responses might change their ease in talking about the health topic - but that's just a guess.
Since my initial sharing with a few close friends and family, several people have found out about my health. I've told a few more people, always choosing carefully.
Sandy, in my case I do not have kids, and I have already shared the news with my employer. I have been assured getting sick will not affect my job standing in the main organization - and of that I am very confident. I am not fearful of any negative impact, short of people treating me differently or feeling uncomfortable in an "elephant in the room" kind of way.
I will post something on my facebook status to celebrate my 1-year anniversary, but it will be kind of cryptic... something my friends who already know about my health will understand (my status updates are often rather out there, so to speak, so this will not be anything unusual). That said, if more people find out so be it. I'm not looking to advertise my health issue, but won't deny it either.
Thanks to you both, and to those who have sent me private messages.
Good Luck whatever you choose, it was an easy choice for my husband who had just retired and our two boys were settled and would not be affected by anything we decided to do, so we thought it best to let everyone know. I talk about it openly on Facebook and on my two blogs, I need support too and this is a great way to discuss and find out more about MM. My husband is now entering his forth year being diagnosed at stage 111.
Sincerely wishing you well with whatever you choose
Susie Hemingway Moursi
We made no secret about it when Tim was dx'ed. Now, I wish I had told people not to tell their kids. Some chose not to. Others did and we had some kids look at my husband with real fear when they first heard. We did not hide if from our daughter as her school nurse warned me she would hear it first on the playground then and we thought she
was not young enough to hide it from. Now I do fear this news becoming a scary rumor around her
new school making kids avoid her but
the lid doesn't go back on. Since kids aren't your issue, then it comes down really to your personality. It is hard sometimes when all people have to say to you is "how are you feeling?" and Tim and I do
not want pity. BUT Tim has been shown such love and support from so
many people, it has surely touched
him. I don't think he regrets it being out there at all. He even understands when folks say the most
ridiculous things sometimes. He has been truly bowled over at times by the support. He does not advertise it with his customers but sometimes they do find out and they have always been great sometimes sharing their own cancer battles with him
and always wishing him well.
3 years later, people are a lot more normal with us now. It's not on their minds so much and Tim does
not look sick. They don't feel the need to always bring it up every time they see us which I am glad about. Best wishes from Jersey.
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